She is beauty, she is grace: The second year update
Beauty
“WOW! That’s your teacher? She’s SO pretty!” — overheard from an unknown student in the hallway, speaking to one of my students.
As I think back to my formal K-12 science education, I had many great teachers. But, out of my 8 teachers across 12 classes, only 2 were female science teachers (Grade 5 & 6 science, Grade 11 & 12 Chemistry). I was (perhaps fortunately) oblivious to this particular fact, and it wasn’t until my Grade 12 Physics class that I noticed a sizable lack of fellow female presence. I was privileged in my upbringing as I was always able to pursue whatever caught my interest — consistently, I found science to be fascinating.
I didn’t have any particular role models I held onto when becoming a woman in science. But my teachers showed me what it can look like to be a tough and brilliant girl, so at least I knew what that looked like. I want to show my students the same. This year with a more regular pace at school (compared to last year’s hybrid, virtual, and on/off schedule), I had a little more time to think about what I could wear. Yes. This section of the (apparently annual) update is dedicated to a discussion of my wardrobe. Starting this year, I showed my students that they can be confident and brilliant scientists, but they could also be soft and playful.
This school year, I started wearing more dresses, partially because I discovered I now enjoy wearing dresses (almost always with pockets and a flared skirt) but partially due to necessity too. Like many people, I gained weight since COVID started.
My initial teaching wardrobe were dress shirts and blouses with pants and occasionally a skirt, because that’s what I saw many teachers wear. That style never really made me feel confident, the ankle pants in style made my ankles cold but the boot cut or flared pants made me feel sloppy. Most of the pants have really really tight (or worse, fake) pockets. The pants I bought for teaching just feel uncomfortably tight now.
Even though I’m in the process of working to lose the pandemic weight gain to get back to my preferred athletic condition, most of the dresses still fit, and they fit me well in a way that makes me feel beautiful. Wearing pretty things to school always makes me happy. The me years ago kept the best and prettiest things for the shelf to admire and saved it for a special occasion. The person I am today knows everyday is a special occasion. I am going to wear the outfits I love to school every day! Since I love science, many of them are science-themed; since I am a functional gal, many of them also have functional pockets. (Many of the dresses I wore to school are from Svaha USA- they have pretty awesome stuff for adults and children.) Of course, everyone should wear what they feel most comfortable and confident in. For me, right now, those are my flared dresses.
These decisions did not go unnoticed by my sharp-eye students. Two of them kept a running tally of the days I wore science outfits versus didn’t. Two (at different schools, I should add), doodled me & my OOTD in my science dresses.
It seemed fitting that I was wearing a dress with Patent US2292387 by Hedy Lamarr when I overheard the student gushing about my appearance in the hallway. I tried to keep my cool but I was secretly giddy under my mask the rest of the day. I was still floating when I got to the parking lot after school and my car wouldn’t start. Turns out the battery was corroded. I went back to my classroom to grab a beaker of baking soda solution, gloves, and a scrubbie brush and cleaned off the corrosion. Yeah, neutralization reactions! (The car started the next morning, but we still drove the car to the service center to get it checked out. My formidable skills did not extend to diagnosing other possible car problems).
Grace
This is my second year teaching, and while I am much more comfortable with the flow of teaching and course prep, it was still a challenging year. I started the school year at my alma-mater, receiving the call to take over the class one day before the start of school- for Grade 11 Economics, and Grade 12 International Business. What?! Well, there was no teacher for those classes, and I was scheduled for taking over a parental leave at the same school later in the fall anyway. I agreed to take on the classes until they could find someone suitable (authors note: they were not able to).
In a way, learning the material days ahead of the students helped me anticipate questions they might have. I was honest with my students that I am teaching from the perspectives of data, systems, hypothesis, and communication. My students were understanding that I’m not an expert in the subject matter, but I will give them my best effort. So I extend the same courtesy wherever possible. As long as they can demonstrate their learning, I learned to be flexible with the format of student submissions and work with them to work out necessary extensions by chunking their assignment(s) up into manageable pieces. After all, COVID still threw several wrenches in my teaching plans by having a student or two out of school a week at a time, almost every single week. Many students also struggled with time management and taking on too many activities with the return of “normal” school, where co-curriculars were a possibility again. The last time my grade 11s had a regular full semester was their first semester of grade 9, so their entry into more challenging senior courses were akin to skipping the practice round on the new video game and jumping headfirst into Hard Mode.
My timetable in the sciences was very fortunate again. I took over Grade 11 Biology (that I taught 3 sections of last year) and Grade 9 Science. In Grade 9 Science, I taught two units I hadn’t taught previously- but my department was wonderful with sharing ideas and resources. I was really glad to only need to prepare one new unit at a time while teaching the Grade 11 course that I’m so familiar with and enjoy.
When I left the Long Term Occasional (LTO) positions at my alma mater, I transitioned directly to another LTO position at a school close to home. In that LTO, I taught Grade 10 science- a new course for me. I was initially apprehensive about teaching the Optics and Chemistry unit- the two lab- heavy units. However, my course team members (who happened to also be my department heads) were so patient to run through the lab activities with me and I had so much unexpected fun learning and teaching physics. Prior to my arrival, several long and short term supply teachers left the class and gradebook in a chaotic state of affairs. One retired teacher warned me of several flighty students, and students reported they had “no idea what they were supposed to have learned” in the first few months. Over the two months I had with them, we slowly got almost everyone back on track. At the end of the term, I squeezed in an optional week-long bootcamp to review chemistry and biology concepts that students must know if they wish to continue taking senior sciences next year. It was optional because 1. not everyone needed the review, 2. Some students did not select senior science courses to continue in and 3. Some students wanted to prioritize their other summative work. Yes, it was my scheduled time to teach them something- but it didn’t have to be science. I’m teaching and trusting them to make decisions that best suit them.
“Ms. Chien, you really do like science, don’t you? I can tell.” — the student who always asks to go to the bathroom during class time.
This year was my second year. It was simultaneously easier and more draining. I had to be extra protective of my own personal boundaries to rest and recharge. To my own surprise, I didn’t lead any co-curriculars this year. On one hand, there were no staff supervision needs and I could not guarantee how long I would be at the same school. My personal life was also in a time of change, that took a lot of time and energy to process. Like my old Samsung, the battery needed to be recharged much more frequently now. I also lost a former student of mine. Sometimes I’d imagine running into former students on the street or guessing what wonderful things they’re up to. Then it would all come crashing down when I remember that she would always be 16.
In the Spring when the water was barely warm enough, twice a week I’d leave school at 4:30pm and spend the rest of my afternoon sitting on a beach before my dragon boat practice. Sometimes I’d bring a book, sometimes I’ll mark a little (one time the Optics Unit Tests blew away and I had to chase them back), sometimes I’ll nap in the car. It was so strange to have no obligations or places to be for a little while, and no work to be done. I remind myself that teaching is just a job and should not be consuming my entire waking moments. It’s when we are rested and relaxed that we can feel more like ourselves and perhaps find creativity and beauty in the little things.
My second year update is coming days ahead of my third year of teaching, that is the grace I am extending to myself.
This year I am grateful to my teacher friends, with always a space to gather ideas, commiserate, or celebrate. Thank you Rija, Tsz Ying, Sylvia, Priyam, Luxnah, Korto, Amy. I am also fortunate to have the guidance of my colleague/dept heads Greg, Brian, Mark, Herman and Mike. For my kids, I hope in our short time together you have discovered how marvelous science (or economics) can be. I certainly have learned much from you.
